Double Nerved

Smell the alien smell of this place, look around. Well, this gotta be my new room for the new semester huh. Is this a new start up of everything? Will I be a better person than before? Is this the fresh beginning of everything good? (Ya, I like to think that way.)

Cleaning up the alien place, well it finally smells a little like my own room now. Getting comfortable with the place right after 1 hour. Then, moving some of my daily use stuffs into the room. Aww, I'm finally trying to be independent (Noo, I brought my mom there too LOL).

Thinking about new university life in the new city campus gotta be so fun and exciting. Happily walking to the class together.. Get to use the new lecture hall, hopefully a well-functioning projector, nice chair also a nice writing table!

Then, I saw some pictures posted by our lecture.. Oh no, I see no table! Am I going to use my lap as a table? Nah, is okay.. Who cares, if there is good functioning facilities.. ESPECIALLY CLEAN WASHROOM, I would be happy! Things get more and more exciting.. until.....

My friend asks me, am I going out for lunch and dinner everyday. I stunned. Yea, I do know how to cook, but I don't wish to cook at there. My friend asks me, am I going to wash my clothes or bring it home. I stunned again! I do not have enough clothes, so I  do need to wash it myself.

Oh no, I felt I'm so dependent all this while. Mom is the one who always do for me. Living without her makes me so emotional, thinking about how heavy was her job at home, as a full-time housewife. Started to appreciate every single thing she did for me. Was it late?

But, at the same time, now I can do some part for her, minimize her job-load, right? Hoping that 20 years wasn't too late to do something for her and papa.

Well, I do feel down a little. No one gotta wake me up if I overslept like my mom do. No one gotta listen to my daily story like my mom do. No one gotta let me be like a little girl like mt mom do. No one gotta mumble things I did like my mom do. Nobody.

The exciting x down mixing kind of feeling makes my cells acting so abnormal. How fast I can adapt to everything? One week will do right?

Good that I see things from this happenings. God, thanks for making me appreciate more and more in my life. I like this planning. Thank you.

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